Tuesday, October 30, 2012

In Class

When a witch, Santa Claus, and the Easter Bunny breaks into a musuem, all pandemonium breaks loose.
First, the witch would steal all of the brooms from the janitor's closet to stock up for her witch army back home. Then, she would steal anything that would make her money and/or lure young children into her and her sisters' house to try to suck the soul out of their victims for themselves (See what I did there?).
The Easter Bunny would be a little more dignified, and only take back what was originally his, The Egg Of Hanabalu. The Egg Of Hanabalu was a priceless heirloom of the Hanabalu family, given to them by the Easter Bunny as a precious gift. It was lost after the fall of their country, Ishmahbavlakya. If the family couldn't have it, neither could the musuem.
Santa Claus neither came for revenge nor for foolery. He meerely came as a ride for the witch and the easter Bunny. After the witch brewed up some dirty laundry of Santa's and told the Easter Bunny about it, it was the only thing Santa could do to keep their mouths shut. He had a few magical elves back home brewing up an amnesia potion to give to them so he never had to come close to spilling his secret ever again. No one would ever know, and he'd never had to cover his tracks again.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Oops... forgot to add this! In class...

Detective:
I was at the station when I got a message via phone call. A few of my partners, David Jones, Gregg MacFarlane, and Brady Zuckerman, and I headed down to the scene of the crime, an old hotel. The body was a male, aged 25-30, and was found in a bath tub with a radio. The man was fully clothed. The hotel attendant said she noticed nothing fishy. This was no accident.

Coroner:
The body that just came in was no suicide. After checking the toxicity levels, Ruffelin was found in the bloodstream. The male victim, age 27, died ultimately of electric shock from the bath tub and the radio. The shock stopped his heart, which was the official cause of death. After a few phone calls, his family identified the body as Marshall Waters.

Attorney:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the death of Marshall Waters was no accident.
Coroner Doug Kanney states that the victim had ruffelin in his bloodstream when he died. If a man wanted to commit suicide, why would he knock himself out first? For those who don't know, Ruffelin, also known as "Ruffies" is not a party drug. Someone wanted Kanney OUT. Of course, there was no signs of defense, but with that in one's bloodstream, how could there be? Please, do what is right and stand up for our victim, Marshall Waters. If we don't who can?

Sunday, October 28, 2012

So let me get this straight...

I just overheard a conversation about how smoking cigarettes is the worst thing you can do for your body. Oh, so crack and heroine is okay then? And what about that fast food stuff everyone eats? And drinking soda? Is none of this considered bad for you?
I'm not one to just stand up for tabacco, but I feel like there is a lot of nasty stuff out there that one can harm their body with, but it is just so taboo to be caught smoking a cigarette. Granted, over a period of time, it can have some bad effects, like cancer, but so can not having a healthy diet or getting enough excercise. Even soda pop is linked to some cancer causing agents. Again, I don't condone smoking, I just hate when people are like, "Oh, I don't smoke cigarettes. That stuff is bad for you. Weed is the only thing I do." A quote only proceeded by taking a bite out of a BigMac. The way people think these days is just... mad.
Any way, Did I let anyone know that I'm considering a career in Chemical Engineering? And going to Wright State University by Dayton? It's a really good college, but it being by Dayton scares me. Dayton traffic is a NIGHT MARE! (I apologize for any grammatical errors, I'm posting this from my Kindle Fire.) I'm really excited to get out of high school and start a life. College, then a real job. It'll be nice not having to work for minimum wage, or worry about people complaining about their bagels not being "bagel-y" enough. Give me a break...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Aw Snap. In Class 9.

HOW. DARE. HE.
Me and Chris dated for three years. I met him through a friend and we got really close really fast. My family loved him, My friends loved him, and more importantly, I loved him. A year went by and no proposal. Then, another year went by. I should have listened to Cosmo's advice about defining the relationship early on, because the following year, he told me he "wasn't the marrying kind." That was it for me, I wanted a husband, kids, a house, the whole nine yards. Chris robbed me of my time and ripped out my heart and smashed it. It's been 2 and a half years since I last talked to him, and believe you me, I was over him. That is, until I ran into him and his new, pregnant wife shopping for baby toys. Not the marrying kind? Doesn't want kids? He obviously played me, and hard too. I felt so stupid, but I congradulated the both of them and walked on. I'm better than to start a mess right in the middle of Sear's. If it weren't for Darren, my new boyfriend of 9 months, I might have stabbed him in the crotch with a baby clothes hanger.

The Toothfairy's Scottish Adventure

Back in 1997, the Toothfairy had concieved a child. The father of sed child was neither denied or confirmed as the Easter Bunny. During the Duration of her pregnancy, she craved Mexican food, Tacos in general. Before making a few stops to Scotland to do some business, she stopped at a Taco Bell. Once she arrived in Scotland, She stopped at the wealthy MacFarlane house just outside of Edinborough. The mother of the household was an OB\GYn and the father was a  coal miner. She put a gold coin underneath young Billy MacFarlane's pillow in exchange for a white tooth. Everything was fine until she felt sharp pain shooting up her abdoman and hot water running down her leg and all over a shirt lying on the floor. They told her not to fly during her third trimester!

Monday, October 22, 2012

2 b or not 2 b: It's no question...

I chose the article, "2 b or not 2 b." And maybe I shouldn't of...
It's not that I should have some kind of serious opinion on texting grammar anyway, because I barely do it, but is anyone else with me when I say I write the way I speak? Honestly, if someone speaks in a "texting language" they will sound like an idiot.
When people use abbreviations and leave out vowels, it's confusing. When someone texts me and says, "brb," in my head, I think "berb." Or "lmao" To me, it looks like some Hawaiian word, "lah-may-oh." or "lah-mow."
Er wen ppl tlk lyke dis.. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY RED SQUIGGLY LINES I HAVE UNDER THAT?! It just so annoying.
In the article, it says something like, People who text get higher testing scores. If they use the "text language," how is that even possible? What ever happened to, Practice Makes Perfect? If someone practices using good grammar and spelling, shouldn't it come natural to them when they're doing academic writing? I just think it's very juvenile to text like a first grader would write. English is such a darling little language. Why are we butchering it? Gee, no wonder other countries make fun of Americans...

Lantry's Article

This article was about advertisement aimed at women. It talks about how (as early as the 1920s) companies, mostly for personal hygiene, have been using advertisement geared toward females. It shows three pieces of textual advertisements and analyzes and dissects each piece in such a manner. Back in the 1950s, or even the 1920s, women were supposed to "please their men," by either cooking, cleaning, or looking attractive. Most women back then were housewives who wanted to (a) make an excellent meal to please their husbands, (b) make sure that stain comes out of their husbands work shirt and get that kitchen spotless, or (c) make sure their lipstick is just the right shade of red. Back then, it was easy to be sexist. Now, commercials are a little more coy about it. Has anyone seen those ridiculous miracle weight loss programs? The diets? The pills? The exercise machines? Many of these are aimed at women. Why? So they can attract the opposite sex with their lean and fit bodies. It's all the same, only now, clearer skin doesn't turn men on. Bigger breast implants do.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Seelye essay response

READERS NOTE: LITERALLY THE MOST BORING THING I'VE EVER READ.

Ya know, I'm not usually one to just rag on articles, but I'm tired and grumpy right now, and if I wasn't sleepy before I started reading, I'm dead asleep now.
This article talks about how the numbers on magazine covers makes the magazine sell better and what statistics prove so. That was pretty much it. I kinda thought it was a bunch of bull, until I looked over at a copy of Cosmopolitan laying on my bedroom floor, and by golly right on the cover it says, "52 Sex Tips!" Well dang, I guess they were right. And in the corner, it says, "4 Talks You Should Have Had With Him By Now" Well okay, I guess sex and numbers do sell...
Come to think of it, every time I'm looking at magazine, it has numbers on the front. Interesting...
The title, "Lurid Numbers on Glossy Pages" truly is a witty title, because it sums up what the entirety of the essay was about, and using all the quotes from popular magazine editors and such, like from Cosmopolitan, backed up what the author was saying. It was good, Field Guide, but I'd rather be reading 50 Shades of Grey.

Monday, October 8, 2012

CAL-Q-LUS IZ HARD.

Last Friday, I was sick. Like I was literally coughing up blood from coughing so much. I didn't go to school because, well, if I pulled a "Clint Eastwood" (Gran Torino reference) in school, I would've been sent home anyway.
I missed a chemistry class, right? No big deal. Chem is one of those things I pick up on super quick. The lab we did Thursday made the cobalt test paper turn pink because of the presence of oxygen in the beaker from the low-heat flame. Blah. Blah. Blah. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE CHEMISTRY. I didn't go to science camp for years if I hated chemistry. (Yes, I know, I'm such a nerd.) Chemistry is one of the reasons I'm considering being a chemical engineer. Calculus on the other hand. . .
I missed one day, ONE DAY, in Calculus, and ended up being like three pages of homework behind. Half of this class isn't even logic! It's not even math! It's punching a bunch of buttons into a calculator! I get the logic and solving part of math, in fact, I love that part. But considering I'm pretty much technologically retarded, using a graphing calculator is not fun. I suppose my frustrations come from the lack of knowledge and experience I have with expensive equipment like this. I mean, it's like tossing someone into a room with a mass spectrometer and saying "Alright, find out how many pickles Bobby ate after thirty years of wearing the same colored socks and only sleeping with 500 thread count sheets." WHAT.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Career Path

You know what? I'm seventeen years old and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

Sure, I could be a chemical engineer. Get paid out the wah-zoo, work for some company, all that jazz. But is that really what I want to do with the rest of my life?

I used to want to be an OB/GYN. I thought that would be the coolest job, working with pregnant people and delivering babies, but I realized that I couldn't afford all of that college, money wise and time wise. I could be a mid-wife, I suppose, but what is this? The Middle Ages?

I would love to work with babies and small children, but the problem is is that I love my nieces and nephews. I will love my children. Other peoples kids are just ugh. I see it all the time at Panera, mostly parents who don't know how to parent, but more children these days are spoiled, rotten little brats. Not mine, of course!

It's the most frustrating thing in the world. All I know is that I want to get married and have a family, but job-wise? I'm totally clueless. I feel like everyone is so in-sync with what they want to do. My boyfriend knows he wants to be a diesel mechanic, and is already on the road to doing so. Me? I could be working at Panera Bread for the rest of my life if I don't start looking at my options...

Thursday, October 4, 2012

In Class Writing 6

What is my political stance? What? That all politicians are mere puppets put there by the devil himself?
I can't stand overhearing conversations about politics. "Oh, Obama is so great because blah blah blah. . ." "Oh, Romney is going to win because blah blah blah. . ." Let me tell you this, America, your vote does not matter. That's right. Voting for anyone is like chopping your tongue off. There's no reason  for it and it always ends in a bloody mess.
I honestly believe that every president EVER has been put there by the government. Not by the people and definitely not for the people. Call me a "dooms-dayer." Call me a conspiracy theorist. Call me what you will. To me, the Illuminati is all too real, and the government has so much more power than what the common people think. I don't even think it's just America. Governments and "Higher-ups" around the world are all connected and are all corrupt.
If I could live on some kind of "Zombie Apocalypse" secret reservation out in the mountains of West Virginia somewhere, trust me. I would. I want to be as far away from government and any kind of voting at all this year. America and the rest of the world has deteriorated from values and honesty and will never get any better. Blah Blah Blah. With liberty, and justice for. . . no one.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

That Girl: The Walking Contradiction

I am. . .
I am honest.
I am a thief.
I am the most honest thief you will ever meet.
I lie.
I steal.
I tell the truth.
Do my eyes deceit me?
Or is that how you feel too?
I laugh.
I cry.
Sometimes I do both.
Sometimes at the same time.
I am numb,
but I always feel.
Sometimes what is there,
and sometimes what is not real.
My wounds are nonexistent,
but my wounds are deep.
I break all the promises
that I promise to keep.
I am always in pain,
but I feel fine.
I am always smiling
but I hurt all the time.
A sprinkle of pain here,
A spark of sadness there.
A pinch of happiness somewhere,
A smudge of depression to bare.
A recipe for disaster,
wrapped into one.
Tomorrow will get here,
yet Tomorrow will never come.
I am happy.
I feel fine!
I'm on fire,
but I'm alive.
I wear a frown.
I wear a smile.
Where have you been?
It's been a while.
I am crazy,
but I am sane.
Who are you, again?
and What was your name?
I am dark.
I am light.
I am rain.
and I'm sunshine.
I am happy,
when you are sad.
I'm Your "Calm Down, Honey."
when you're raging mad.
I am invisible,
and I should leave this place.
With a knife in my back,
I shall leave this place.
I am forever "That Girl"
without a real home.
Perpetually "That Girl."
And I am Alone.






Fuzzy Wuzzy Wuz A Bear

Ya know what I can't stand? Being waken up by gunshots outside my house.
No I don't live in the "ghetto." In fact, I live far from it. People hunt outside my house ALL. THE. TIME.
Hunting's great and all, but on a Wednesday morning? Normally, they wouldn't bother me, but my dog barks every time she hears a gun fire, which is understandable for a dog of course, but during hunting season, I wake up to *BOOM* *BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK!* *BOOM* *BARK!BARK!BARK!BARK* And then me eventually getting tired of it and yelling at my dog, "OH MY GOD, VELVET, SHUT UP."
So, besides the fact that I'm extremely tired right now, I'm also quite overbooked. You know what I want more than anything else in the world? Just a day where I don't have to worry about anything. A day where I can just breathe. I want a day off, not only from work, but from life. Is that so much to ask? Really, I mean, if all of my teachers would just quit with all the gargantuan amounts of homework, which reminds me I have a calculus test today. Crap.
I feel as if all my blogs are about being stressed out. I gotta quit writing about that. I'm sure all of my millions of readers are getting sick of me, right? (sarcasm) Okay, so let me try to fire up a conversation about something else. . . Cats? I don't like 'em.
What about cup cakes? Cup cakes are pretty awesome. I'm not sure if any one knows this about me, but I'm am a BOMB cup cake maker. Like, I'm just fantastic. My harvest apple cup cakes are to die for. :)
Well, I guess that's all I got to say. Oh, does anyone even have close to 50 blogs yet? Hah, I don't.

Monday, October 1, 2012

In Class Writing (Once Upon a Time)

Once Upon a Time is a television show about a crossover from reality to fairy tale. It's pretty much a modern play on "Snow White" meets "Prince Charming." Though mildly interesting, the episode, "A Land Without Magic" was a total gag and completely hard to follow. The plot was sloppy and all over the place. An outside viewer (one who has never watched the show) might find it difficult to watch, not only due to the cheesy acting, but because it jumped from modern day to a fairy tale backdrop set in probably the 1400s. One positive thing about this series is the costumes. They followed exactly what someone would think of as a    princess costume or an evil witch outfit. Computer graphics were not bad. They weren't good but they were not bad. Needless to say, the show had its ups and downs. If someone was a viewer who wasn't into the whole "fairy tale" thing, they probably wouldn't like the show. If someone was, then I'd say go for it.