I always felt safe living in the country. You know, no one to drive by your house in the middle of the night and shoot you if you ticked them off? The peacefulness and serenity was always nice, until my mother told me that every 23 years, a bat-like creature from Hell appears to prey on living human beings to harvest their organs. Gee, thanks for leaving that one out, Mom...
The 23 years ended when I turned 17. When the 23 year duration started to come to an abrupt end, I asked my mother more about this creature. He was called "Jeepers Creepers." During his last attack, he engulfed an entire cheer leading squad and basketball team on a bus coming home from an away game. This guy, or thing, was hungry, so I knew I had to leave town. I was gonna be smarter than all the other scary movie bimbos, so I hopped on a plane to Hawaii for a month and had the vacation of a lifetime! While the others were fearing for their lives and getting eaten alive back home, I was relaxing and drinking a fruity umbrella drink out of a coconut off the white beaches of Honolulu. An anti-climatic end? This is real life, baby, and sometimes you can have a happy ending.
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